The Last Leg is Always the Hardest

I think I'm reaching that point where I'm ready to be done being pregnant. I've been told to really enjoy these last few weeks, but lemme tell ya, it's easier said than done some days. Mostly because everything requires so much more effort and energy than it used to. Really. Practically everything is harder to do. Whenever I drop something on the floor, my heart sinks and I have to give myself a little pep talk before bending over to pick it up!

It really doesn't help, either, that I keep hearing things like "Wow, you have 6 whole weeks left?! Are you gonna make it?" That makes it even harder! I so appreciate hearing "Wow! 6 weeks left? You're so close!" That is what I need to be reminded of...how close we are, not how much longer we have to go. It's a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty kind of thing.

I don't want to seem ungrateful. I know women who struggle with infertility and I never want to be insensitive to their struggles. I know there are many who would love to be in my uncomfortable shoes right now. I have rough days & not-so-rough days, but even on the rough days, ultimately I'm so grateful & realize that I'm very, very blessed.

The main thing that I love most lately is feeling & seeing Roan move. I just love sitting at home watching my belly change shape as he pushes his feet, arms, elbows, and knees out as hard as he can. And I wonder what those feet, arms, elbows, and knees are gonna look like (and his face, too...mostly his face :)). I wonder what kind of man he's gonna grow up to be. But if I think about that for too long, I nearly send myself into a panic wondering if I'm gonna be a good enough mom or raise him well.

This child is not mine. I mean, he is in a way. Sure, he has some of my DNA, but first and foremost, he's God's. Being pregnant has solidified my faith even more...I can't imagine when I actually see Roan's face! Just knowing #1 - how hard it really is to get pregnant. Seriously research it if you haven't. Conception in itself is a miracle. #2 - how intricate and complicated we are and the fact that a new miraculously complicated life has been forming inside me. And then thinking about how I love my son so much, and I know I'm only going to love him more when he's born...and how Christ loves me (and Roan) MORE than that. The love I have for my son is nothing compared to Christ's love for us. Wow.