Two Nights Away from Momma

We went down to Fort Wayne again last weekend. I photographed a wedding in Huntington, so Sean and I had a hotel room for 2 nights. Obviously, having a newly-walking baby with us during the wedding...almost a 12 hour day...was not going to be possible. So Roan stayed with grandma Bibi and grandpa Dean Friday and Saturday night! Sean has been away from Roan overnight before, but I haven't.

Surprisingly, I didn't sob! I definitely almost did. Friday night I was pretty worried...not that I don't trust my parents, I just have a tendency to worry...a lot! I got a lot of reassuring texts from my mom that he was doing great. He basically stayed on schedule and even napped from 1pm-3pm for them! I just can't figure out why he doesn't do that at home (he naps that long at daycare, too).

When we saw him Sunday morning, it felt like he grew up tremendously since we'd last seen him Friday evening. He's basically walking like a mad man now. He still stumbles a bit and if he's too tired he will still plop to his butt and crawl where he wants to go, but he walks most of the time! It's pretty funny, though, cause if he's walking along furniture and lets go and starts to walk on his own, he'll still walk sideways or at an angle.

He also didn't take very big bottles, which could either be because he was distracted for whatever reason...or...he's naturally weaning himself off the bottle. I feel like it's the latter.

Oh, and he totally doesn't like processed, pre-packaged food! Certain things he will eat...sometimes...but he definitely prefers homemade. Which means I'm gonna have to find recipes and cook more. Oy!

Saturday night, my family took him out to eat with them. Apparently, he was a wiggle worm! My brother, Morgan, had a blast with him for sure. Saturday during the day, my mom took him swimming at my grandma's. Hopefully I'll get to see pictures of that!

Here are some shots of our big, big boy!

He loooves his aunt Jessie!

Holy Moly, 11 Months!

Wow! I can't believe we only have one more month before he turns one year old! As Sean put it: "It's been the longest shortest year of my life."

Here are some of my faves from his 11 month shoot:

I don't know any of his weight/height stats, but he is meeting milestone after milestone! He's getting better at walking...venturing out from the couch to the ottoman fairly easily. I've been trying to get him to walk longer distances by holding a ball or Mr. Owl (his owl security blanket that he loves) and scootching back as he gets closer. That seems to work ok, but if I start out at a far distance, he'll drop to the ground and crawl.

He'll sometimes say "Hi!"...and ball is "Bah! Bah!" (he does use it appropriately). He will say "Dadda" or some version of it, but he won't say "Mamma". That seems to be pretty common...I wonder why? Speech therapists, any thoughts?

He can sign for milk and is starting to do "all done!" I plan on working on more signs over the summer. I've done "mamma" and "dadda" here and there...as well as "yes" and "no". This isn't signing, but he likes putting his arms in the air when we say "Sooo big!" (photo #2 above is him doing this), though most of the time he only does one arm...not sure why, haha.

He is going to be a climber for sure. He's already climbing the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs! Good thing he really can't go far there. There's no middle bar. I would not be surprised if he eventually uses his Leap Frog activity table (that I got for $20 off Craigslist, thank you very much) as a step stool!

He has 6 teeth now...4 on top, 2 on bottom. Thankfully, so far, teething hasn't been too hard on him. The main thing is he doesn't eat as much as he usually does when they're trying to come in.

Tomorrow is the last day of the 2011-2012 school year!! I'm so excited to spend more time with my boy and plan his first birthday party. I will also be watching friends of ours son. He was born in late December, so he's not quite sitting on his own 100% yet and he's not crawling...yet. It should be interesting, but I'm up for a challenge! The main thing I'm concerned about is Roan getting jealous. Or them not napping at the same time, haha. Wednesdays the baby will go with someone else & I will take Roan to daycare so I can clean, run errands, etc. I won't be getting much, if any, help from Sean because the insanity of turnover is right around the corner, so I'm hoping Wednesdays & the weekends will keep me sane. I know being away from Roan so much is going to be hard on him, too. But that's the life of a commercial painter.

That's all for right now! Off to make more First Birthday Party plans!

Road Trips are Awesome: Roan's First Time in the UP!

Roan went to the UP for the first time! And it won't be his last. 

My cousin got married in Marquette and I was a bridesmaid. I bought a shirt for him that says “Road trips are awesome”. I thought it would be appropriate! He can wear it again for my friend’s wedding in September (that one is in Indianapolis).

We left at 8ish Thursday morning and arrived in Marquette at around 6pm. Which is really good time considering stopping for feedings! Each time we stopped, we pulled out the picnic blanket and let Roan crawl (or walk with our help) around. That really, really helped. He got to stretch his legs and wasn’t as bored in the car. He loved watching the trucks at the first stop!

I passed the camera on to Sean and had him take pictures to show that I was there, too! So often I’m behind the camera and I always end up wanting more pictures of Roan and I. Turns out my hubs has a pretty good eye!

Roan traveled wonderfully! Unfortunately, this meant he did not sleep well Thursday night. We were hoping he’d go right down so we could relax in the hot tub for our anniversary, but Roan had other plans. I think he 1) slept in the car so much it threw him off and 2) he was in a new place and wanted to explore.

The next day, we went to the reception location (ski lodge) and helped decorate and set up. Plus, Roan needed to nap. So we went back to the room and all 3 of us took a glorious nap! It felt amazing!

After we woke up, we took Roan to the pool for the very first time! He was a little unsure of what to think at first, but after a while, he was smiling and loving it. 

Another baby came in to the pool, too. Turns out the grandparents are friends of my aunt & uncle and were in town for the wedding! Their granddaughter, Anya, is a month older than Roan. He was smiling at her like none other! Her mom & I were talking and she had a c-section, too. She wanted a home birth, but Anya was transverse and could not be flipped.  Anyway, it was her first time swimming, too, and she also enjoyed it.

Then my uncle Jaa and aunt Jody (and their 3 kiddos) arrived, so they hung out at the pool for a little. It was so nice to see them! They live in Fort Wayne, so we don’t see them much.

The rehearsal was at 6pm and dinner followed.

Then…the wedding day!

Our hair appointments were at 9am. It took longer than we thought, but everyone’s hair turned out wonderfully! After that, we went to my aunts to grab a quick bite. A friend of the family had brought stuff for mimosas, two quiches, chocolate covered strawberries, breakfast potatoes, chocolate scones, and…I think that’s it. What an awesome, perfect wedding day breakfast! I pigged out! I didn’t want to be starving later.

After that, it was on to the church to get ready! Again, I’m so glad I ate a lot at my aunt’s house because the wedding started at 3pm and it wasn’t until the reception that I ate again (well, I brought snacks with me).

The ceremony was gorgeous! Lots of burlap, baby’s breath, and tule. Simply elegant. And most of the music for the ceremony was from Pride and Prejudice (with Kiera Knightly)! Chels…I must say I was envious of how gorgeous it all was! If I could do my wedding over, decoration-wise, I would have done that.

The weather in Marquette is more bipolar than Lansing! It was reasonably warm the morning of the wedding, but by the time we were doing pictures after the ceremony, it was freezing cold! The photographer was taking a picture of all of us holding our bouquets in a circle and we were all quivering from the cold!

The reception was a blast! I think it’s best to show that in pictures:

I took a lot of pictures of my mom and Roan. Two of my most favoritest people.

We left a little early from the reception, hoping we could get Roan down so we could get our hot tub time in, but again, the stinker had other plants. So that was a bust. He didn’t go to bed until 11ish!

The next morning, the family all got together for breakfast at 9am. We woke up at 8:15 (didn’t set an alarm), so Sean fed Roan while I began to pack. Miraculously, we got everything packed, kid fed and changed, and checked out by 9am! The restaurant was literally 2 minutes away. Again, I ate more than I should, but the diet starts over strictly on Tuesday! I have another bridesmaid dress to fit into!

Roan was pretty sleepy towards the end of breakfast, so we took him back to my parents’ room to nap. I worked on pictures, though, since I wasn’t that tired.

When he woke up, we went to my aunt & uncle’s to watch Richard and Chelsea open up gifts and hang out with family before we had to leave. We were on the road by 3:15ish.

I drove the first leg…from Marquette to the bridge…then Sean finished the rest. Roan actually slept the whole way once we crossed the bridge! We made it home about 15 minutes after midnight.

What a perfect weekend!

Standing Up Like a Big, Big Boy!

I feel like walking is right around the corner!

It started with pulling himself up and choosing to stand on his own. A little later, he was standing on his own and took a small step towards me right before falling into my arms!

I'm one proud momma. And he gets as excited about it as I do. One time, I let go of him so he was standing on his own and he started laughing!

Happy Mother's Day

It's crazy to think that last Mother's Day, I was anxiously waiting to have my baby...though I had a long ways to go! This year, I woke up to his big smile while my mom was feeding him. I'm in awe of how big my "peanut" is getting! He really is starting to feel less like a baby and more like a toddler. He amazes me every day.

But I'm not going to blog about myself and Roan today.

One thing that's been bothering me since I became a mom...and it breaks my heart...is how much moms tear each other down. Some of it I've experienced myself and some of it I've heard about through a second or third party. It can be as simple as a disapproving glare or flat-out harsh words. Yes, sometimes that is warranted. But often it is not.

I've seen and heard this done on both sides of issues such as breastfeeding. Moms disapproving of other moms going straight to formula. Moms disapproving of other moms breastfeeding their children that they feel are too old. Yes, science shows breast milk is best for babies...yes we could argue and debate all day long about that issue. But some moms, like myself, honestly tried their very hardest to make breastfeeding work and, despite all our best efforts, it didn't work out. So guilt, shame, and all those emotions come flooding in...then to turn around and have a mom "friend" make you feel worse is like pouring salt on the wound.

And let me just say it now...that should not be.

I've been made to feel guilty for being induced at 41 weeks instead of 42. Of course, I wondered if I would have had a c-section if I weren't induced...if it was my fault that I had a c-section...if the fibroid that was blocking the birth canal wouldn't have been there if I wasn't induced (though I'm 99% sure it was there before as I had a "sizable" fibroid that showed up on an ultrasound at 8 weeks). But then I remember my OB's words: "There's no way he was gonna come out on his own."

Yes, I was induced. Yes, I had an epidural. Yes, I ultimately had a c-section. And yes, I was only able to breastfeed my son for 3 months. Yes, I work full-time and yes, my son goes to daycare.

Does that make me a bad mother? NO. I refuse to let anyone tell me that or make me believe that. Roan is healthy and making strides daily. There is not a single area where I feel he is lagging or not developing like he should. And even if he was, who's to say it was because of any of those things?

This issue especially bothers me when it is "Christian" mothers who are dishing out the condescension and head-shaking.

If you are a mom and claim to be a Christian, I urge you to read Scripture and ponder it good and hard. Especially if you feel the Holy Spirit convicting you. James talks a lot about our words (tongue) and the damage it can do.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 “’All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”

It may be your lawful "right" to voice your opinion about parenting issues, but consider whether or not your words will build up your sister in Christ. Or, furthermore, if it's a non-believing mom, even more reason to think before you speak! We are Christ's ambassadors. Often how people view Christ and the church depends on us. People are listening to us and watching us.

Noel Heikkinen did a great series at Riverview called How to Kill a Church (<- link: drop down menu at the top can take you to it) and one of the things he talked about was how we can cause dissention in the church with our words and how damaging that is.

God does not want us to tear each other down. If it's not a salvation issue, it's not worth ripping someone apart. If it is "not beyond what is written", then we should not be pouring salt on each others already-bleeding wounds or offending each other.

So, moms...moms who work hard to do the best for their families on a daily basis...let's support one another and lift each other up rather than slap each other in the face. Think before you speak. Offer a hug or encouraging words instead of disapproval. And have a very Happy Mother's Day! 

9 Month Checkup

So Roan had his 9 month checkup on the 18th but I've been too sick and busy to blog about it. I'll touch on that later.

How Roan is Doing...

So, the stats for Roan's 9 month checkup are:

Weight: 20lbs 5oz (44th percentile)
Length: 28 inches (46th percentile)
Head: 46 1/4 cm (75th percentile) - last time his head was in the 86th or something like that.
And no shots this time!

He's mostly wearing 9 month clothes. Anything that's 6-9 is a tad too small. I have a feeling we'll be moving on to 12 month clothes soon.

Tooth #3 has broken through and it seems like tooth #4 is on it's way, too. His top right tooth is one that's definitely there. There seems to be a white spot next to it that looks like it might be the other tooth coming through. Either that or he's got some sort of sore...though that seems unlikely to me. He has been slightly cranky (though not unbearable) and is definitely a drool factory! But he still sleeps through the night, so we're pretty dang blessed there. I'm not counting on that being the case his whole life, but he's been sleeping through the night since he was 2.5 months old. Thanks for that one, buddy!!

He loves to stand up and definitely wants to walk. When I stand him up and hold his hands to help him walk, he always tries to pull his hands away. He doesn't seem to understand yet that he'll face-plant if I let go! He so desperately wants to be independent.

How Mom & Dad are Doing...

Well, as many know, I haven't been feeling well. I did a detox diet for about a week (ok, so more like 5 days) where I was only eating fruit and veggies. Ever since I've stopped it, I've had intense pain in my abdomen and back. It seems to hit hardest after I eat. I won't go into the other gross details, but basically, I know there is something very wrong with my digestive system. The problem is, we don't have health insurance. Roan is covered under Medicaid, but currently, Sean and I aren't. We were on the Ingham Health Plan but I was taken off it when I was pregnant and apparently Sean was taken off it in July. It really only covers the basics, so it won't help with the situation I'm in now (needing tests, a specialist, etc).

We applied for Medicaid & a social worker told Sean that we should qualify because our son has it. Somehow no one ever told us that before. I'm really hoping we do get it because my quality of life is affected daily and the pain is getting worse and more frequent. I went to Urgent Care and all the doctor said he could do is push on my tummy to see if it wasn't my appendix, gallbladder, etc. All that appears to be fine. My worst fear was a bowl blockage as I know those can be extremely dangerous if not treated.

I had to leave work early a few days, but since I had to be at the zoo with 3rd graders all last week, I chose to push through the pain. The doctor at Urgent Care prescribed Bentyl but I didn't get that until Thursday night. And really, it doesn't seem to be helping. It's really frustrating because since Sean is basically self-employed, he obviously doesn't get health benefits. And while I work full-time, I don't get any either because there are simply too many paras in the district for them to offer it. In the past when we've applied for Medicaid (pre-Roan), we were denied because we made just enough money to not qualify. So that's awesome.

Sean has been working as usual. Work, guitar practice, and guitar lessons. He has seriously been the best husband and dad ever, taking care of Roan pretty much all the time since I've been feeling so bad.

Our neighborhood is having yard sales coming up pretty soon, which I am very happy about because we have some stuff to get rid of! And also things to look for, haha. At least we now have a kitchen table for Roan to eat at! Let's be honest, Sean and I will still eat sitting on the couch until that becomes inconvenient because of the dog and/or Roan :). But the table is perfect for us because the sides drop down so it doesn't take up a lot of space unless we need it to. Just gotta find 2 more chairs, but that's not an immediate need.

Right now, I'm not in pain, which I feel like celebrating. Maybe I can actually help take care of my kid today.

Cliche, Yes.

The other day, while my son was desperately trying to pull himself up on the couch so he could reach the remote, I began to reach out to pull him up. I stopped myself. This was not the first time I had to stop myself from doing something for him. I had to watch him. He was so close! He can get on his knees, he just hasn't mastered how to get his foot out from under his butt.

It was excruciating for me. Excruciating to watch him struggle...just staring at that remote. He had that same look in his eyes that I get when I see crème brûlée. Sheer, utter, undeniable desire and determination to have it. I silently cheered for him (if I'd said anything, he would have just stared at me and forgotten his goal). His little hands gripping the edge of the couch...grunt after grunt. All fruitless. He plopped back onto his butt, defeated.

I started to wonder. How many times will I have to watch him struggle to figure something else out on his own? Probably a lot. A lot.

Really, all I had to do was either pull him up or push the remote closer. But he wouldn't learn that way.

Being a parent, I feel, has opened my eyes to how God must feel about us. The completely explainable, overwhelming love that I feel towards Roan...God loves me (and him and you) more. That alone is mind-blowing to me!

The way that I have to let Roan learn and grow on his own in some areas easily relates to how God lets us grow and learn and figure things out. It would be so easy for him to just...give it to us - whatever it is we need to learn. But he loves us too much to make us puppets.

Growth can be (and often is) painful and frustrating. But it's comforting to know that God is cheering me on...knowing that I can do it.