I have a son!!

Wow, what a long weekend it's been! I'm still pretty exhausted. I'll give the short & sweet version, then a more detailed account of how Roan Keane came into the world.

Short & Sweet

We got to the hospital Friday night at 8pm to be induced. I struggled a lot with that decision (to be induced). Basically, the meds got me to contract, but not thin or dilate really. So they gave me pitocin. That got me to get a bit more dilated, but still not thinning. Then Roan started to show signs of distress with the pit...by that point I'd been laboring for a LONG time. I couldn't progress without the pit, but Roan was far too much at risk with it. Our choices were to keep trying a bit longer for a vaginal delivery, but risk him crashing & me needing an emergency c-section (which would have been extremely dangerous for me*)...or go ahead with a scheduled c-section where the risks were significantly lower. After many tears, I decided to get the c-section. By that point it was Sunday afternoon. He was born at 3:24pm that day. As it turns out, I had a lot of fibroids; one very large one in particular was blocking his way out. Plus, his head was trying to come out sideways to get around the fibroid. Oh, and his head is 14 1/2 inches around - pretty big!

*I'll explain why the emergency c-sec would have been so bad for me...more so than your average patient...below.

More Details:
*Edited 7/9/13...he is almost two now! Reading this I see I left some details out that I would like to add for myself personally. So here goes.

They put me in a labor & delivery room at first, but after a while they said they needed it for patients in "active labor" & I was not. So I was moved to an OB Special Care room. They started me on cervadi to soften my cervix at midnight Friday night. This meant waiting for like 6 hours...laying on my side! When the cervadil showed minimal effect, I opted to not do that again. So they gave me cytotec. My contractions moved closer together & were very painful. I decided to get the epidural, so they moved me to labor & delivery. I was hoping for a natural delivery, but ya know...I made my choice for my own reasons. I talked to my OB about it, who is supportive of natural birth, and she assured me it would not have a negative effect on my baby. In fact, my OB was recommended to me by a friend who had natural births. She said to me "If epidurals hurt babies in any way, I wouldn't have had one myself." Moving on.

Things seemed to be going well enough to where I wouldn't need pitocin - I was SO happy about that! However, my progression stalled. They had to put me on pitocin & that was hard for me emotionally. They put me on the lowest dose as my OB knew I didn't like the idea of using pit. After a while (a few hours I'm sure, I don't remember), they increased the dose. They had been monitoring my contractions since the whole thing started, of course, but wondered about the actual strength of the contractions. An internal contraction monitor showed my contractions were "pretty weak" which was why I was stalled at 4-5 cm and 50% thinned. I believe Roan stayed at a -2 stage the whole time as well...when they reach 1, they have entered the birth canal. I think. Anyway. When they increased the pit, his heartbeat dropped a bit during contractions (not terribly, but enough). They cut the pit in half & his heartbeat stabilized. They increased it sloooowly again and the same thing happened with his heartbeat. This was a sign that something wasn't right.

That's when things got really emotional. My parents, Devon, Sean and I all prayed...and cried. Just the emotion of feeling like my baby was in danger...that any time the pitocin was increased to a certain level, his heart rate would dip was terrifying. Then they came in the room & said that my choices were to keep trying for a vaginal delivery or get a c-section. The risk with the vaginal delivery was Roan could crash and I could end up needing an emergency c-section (more dangerous, but especially for me...I'll get into that later). I didn't want a c-section at all. But I knew that was what needed to be done. I did not want to put my son at risk. I asked my OB the "what would you do?" question that I know she hates getting and she very cautiously told me she would go with surgery. We prayed, I cried, and we decided. The whole timing of how after the last time we prayed, literally minutes after "amen", the doctor came in and gave me the two choices...God was trying to speak to us.

It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I felt like a failure. I felt like I was yet another example of how inducing increases your risk for c-section. They said once they got in there & got him out, they might be able to tell why I wasn't progressing...or they might not. It was extremely hard for my husband, too.

So, Sean got scrubbed up & they wheeled me back to the OR. I didn't like that feeling...I was in this stark white room...people hustling around me prepping everything. They were super nice...every single person was amazing. I was calm. Me. The worry-wart. Calm. I accepted that this was going to happen and I felt God's peace. I don't care what anyone says or thinks, God was present. I have felt that feeling few times in my life, but enough to know with confidence. Someone told me "So, dad is kind of having a hard time, he's a little nervous, so we're going to go ahead and bring him in now." I learned later that Sean was crying pretty heavily (sorry for out-ing you, hun), shaking, etc. Nurses and other hospital staff kept asking if he was ok, if he needed anything. He stayed with me while they finished final preparations and the surgery began.

I was still calm. Sean cried throughout the whole surgery. I mean, putting myself in his shoes...your wife on an operating table, totally unsure of the outcome, anxious to see your baby...I don't blame him and I don't think anyone does. Not to mention he hadn't slept (I had thanks to the epidural). 

I knew we were making the right choice. I knew that if it weren't for modern medicine...if it had been a few centuries prior, we likely wouldn't have made it (I know c-sections were possible from a very early age, I've researched all that, but they still weren't common due to the risks and poor sanitation). 

I hear my OB say: "Oh yeah, there was no way he was gonna come out the old fashioned way." The next thing in my memory (it's kind of a blur) was hearing him cry. Words cannot even begin to describe what that moment was like. Our son was HERE! They showed him to us before cleaning him up. Though I was laying on my back & tilted back, he was the most beautiful creation I'd ever seen! He had no issues...no breathing problems or anything. They put him on my chest for a bit, but it was difficult being tipped back. Sean held him while they stitched me up & I was able to hold him as we went to the c-sec recovery room.

God you are so good to me. I do not deserve this gift...this precious gift. Praise Jesus!

As it turns out, I had a lot of fibroids on my uterus, but a really big one was blocking his way out. To try to get around it, his head was trying to come out sideways, but the fibroid was too large. Plus, his head is 14.5 inches around!

He was 8lbs 10oz and 20.75 inches long :) Had I tried for a vaginal delivery any longer, I know I would have ended up needing an emergency c-section regardless. I won't even think of what could have happened if that were the case.

Clarification as to why surgery is so dangerous for me: 

*The reason why the emergency c-sec was such a scary thing for me has to do with the surgery I had at 18 mos. It was for my eyes. During surgery, I apparently had an allergic reaction to the anesthesia. They were taking me back to recovery & I went into hyperthermia (my temp shot up). They called a code (blue?) on me & people were frantic. I survived, obviously, but the anesthesiologist was shaken up as he was trying to inform my parents. My pediatrician urged my parents to get a copy of the record of the surgery. The hospital "lost" the record. And the anesthesiologist? He retired right after my surgery.

We told the anesthesiologists at Sparrow about that before they gave me the epidural. They said it sounds like malignant hyperthermia...although MH usually happens shortly after getting the medicine. They said it was odd that it happened on my way to recovery. We were told so many times to really look in to getting me tested for it, as it is/could be hereditary. They at least want me to wear a band if I can't get tested (though having a son now, I think it's important to know). However, this tests costs thousands of dollars, I'm uninsured, and I would have to travel as only a few places run the test for this; it requires a live tissue sample from my thigh.

So, that's why the anesthesiologists (and my OB) did not like the idea of an emergency c-sec for me. With a scheduled c-sec, all they'd have to do is increase my epidural to numb me more & higher up. Much safer. This is why I will be having a repeat c-section with the next child.

My recovery will be interesting, to say the least. I can't drive for 1 week minimum. Can't drive with Roan in the car for 2 weeks (turning and looking over my shoulder in the car would be bad for the incision according to my OB, as well as the risk of a car accident and the lap belt across the incision). I think I have to limit the use of stairs. I'd like to not use stairs at all...but our bathroom is on the second floor!

Roan is beautiful. He is perfect in every way! We are so in love...it is just amazing! And my husband...my husband is the best. He was an awesome support through the entire process. And boy is he ever a good dad! This whole thing not only brought us closer together, but brought us & God closer together. I would not have made it were it not for Him! His hand & will have been so perfectly obvious through it all. How great is He!