Thanksgiving

We visited my family in Indiana for Thanksgiving. As usual, it was great being with family. For some, it was their first time meeting Roan. He did really well being away from home and he's done really well getting back into his "routine". Here are some photos from the weekend.

Roan with my aunt Jody

He loved his great-uncle Jaa.

Snuggling right up...super cute moment.

Grandma Berta giving him a bottle.

Uncle Micah and aunt Drea

Grandma and Tom

Uncle Morgan

He was tired and whiny...so Sean played his guitar and voila! Well, for a little bit.

In other Roan news, he's a tummy sleeper! We found him sleeping on his tummy one morning and it's been that way ever since. Only, it seems as though he forgot how to roll the other way now that he knows how to get on his tummy. Just today he rolled onto his back twice, so hopefully he'll keep that up. Sometimes I keep rolling him onto his back only to have him roll right back onto his tummy and proceed to whine until I roll him over again. Haha.

Our cloth diaper endeavor failed. I bought used BumGenius diapers from a friend. I put 2 liners in them and after about 8 leaks (during the day), I decided it wasn't worth it. Not worth it to change his outfit 3+ times a day. They seemed to be leaking from the sides because the front would be dry, but the side and back would be wet. So unless I was doing something wrong or there are diapers that hold more, looks like we're sticking with Huggies Pure and Natural. Maybe we'll try again in a few months...perhaps when he's not peeing as frequently? Does that happen with boys? Haha. I don't know what to do with the diapers now.

We're not starting solids yet. Doc said to wait till he's closer to 6 months. That was my original plan anyway. Roan sleeps 10+ hours a night...that would be the only reason why I might introduce oatmeal. I want to look more into baby-led solids and I'm pretty certain I want to give him oatmeal instead of rice cereal. It's just crazy right now to think about him eating solids! I am looking forward to him not going through so much formula. He eats 8oz at almost every feeding! We give him Earth's Best Organic formula and that stuff is expensive...and we go through a can just about every week. Our boy is an eater!

4 Month Checkup

How Roan is Doing...

Roan just had his 4 month checkup! All is on track with my little man. Here's his stats:

Weight = 15lb 14oz (50-60th percentile)
Height = 25.75'' (60th)

Head circ. = 44cm (60th)

His appointment was at 1:15pm. This was a slight problem because he was supposed to eat at 1pm. But he wasn't crying & seemed relatively happy, so I held him off. The nurse kept referring to him as a girl! I have a hard time with what to do in that situation...I usually try to ask a question using "he"...or call him my big guy/baby boy, etc. She apologized and said she has 5 granddaughters. "Plus, he's just such a beautiful baby!" I know, nurse lady, I know :)

Then it was time for his shots. He had 3 of them. Of course, he cried, but not as bad as I thought. It is harder when they have real tears. Plus, I think the fact that he was hungry didn't help. Guess that disqualifies me for the mom-of-the-year award (if you really think that, then pffft to you). Really, though, he was fine. He was hungry, but not famished. Just getting to that "Hey...hey mom...mom, I'm getting hungry."

I have to go clothes shopping for him. His plain white 3-6 month onesies don't fit! Seriously, Gerber, what the frick?! It can't be that Roan is big...I mean 60th percentile is still pretty average. Oh well, clothes shopping is fun :) Also, I know he's super close to not fitting in size 2 diapers anymore. Good thing I just bought another pack (eye roll).

We're kind of easing into using cloth diapers (except when out in public, at night, and possibly when people babysit). So far I've had quite a few leaks. Not too sure how it's gonna work out. We'll see.

How Mom is Doing...

I have been good...busy! Lots of photo shoots recently, which is great. I really need to make some investments to get my photography going a bit more. 

I'm pretty addicted to Pinterest. But, because of that site, I've learned how to make sock bun curls (no heat = awesome!), I've made some pretty good food, and I've done lots of organizing & need to do more. And there are some pretty neat DIY projects on there, too. Really, it's probably the healthiest addiction because organizing is always good...DIY projects save money. The hair part is kinda vain, but it's helpful because as a momma, I need quick hairstyles that keep my hair out of my face.

How Dad is Doing...

Sean has been good, too. The new job is going ok. I think he's only had a few days where he's installed 3 or 4 kits. If he installs 4 early on in his shift, he's technically allowed to leave work early. There were a few days where he didn't do any cause of the neighborhood he was in. Some neighborhoods just don't answer the door.

Almost 4 Months

How Roan is Doing...

Yay tummy time!

He is getting so big! He'll be 4 months on the 10th...wow. His appointment on the 14th so we'll see how much  he weighs. He's long & lean(ish haha). He's wearing 3-6mo size now and it's loose around his tummy, but the snaps on his onesies always pop open...and the legs on his romper outfit things are too short, but everywhere else, it fits.

He was a lion for Halloween. Grandma Bebe (my mom) got him his costume...originally we thought it was a monster, but the more I look at it, the more I think it's a lion. Just not your typical lion costume colors. But he was stinkin' adorable! I took him to Sycamore (where I work) for the Halloween parade. It was chilly, but rest assured I am a good momma and made sure he was warm ;) He was actually sweaty when I took him out of the car seat!

My cousin had her baby! Leo Lewis was born on 10/30/11...she said she didn't want a Halloween baby & she got her wish :) Interestingly enough, my husband read (<--link) that the birth rate drops by like 11% on Hallween. Anyway, Roan got to meet his new "frousin" (a term my husband coined).

Leo is so tiny...and adorable! 

How Mom is Doing...

I am loving being home. I do miss my job, but really nothing beats being home with my boy. There are times when I desperately want Sean home to help, too, and I certainly can't get as much done as I'd like, but still. Just when I think I couldn't love him any more than I do, I look at him and he smiles and I feel like my heart is gonna burst. I actually like cooking, cleaning (ok, maybe not cleaning), and taking care of Roan all day. I'm nervous about how I'm gonna do it all when I go back to work.

I've been battling a clogged salivary duct (<--link). That link doesn't look like mine...mine isn't that bad. No drainage. Basically, that thing under your tongue that squirts out saliva...that is clogged by a calcified stone. Originally I thought it was a canker sore, but after a week Sean told me to go in to Urgent Care. They told me what it was and that I need to be seen by an ear, nose, and throat doc. I explained that I'm not insured, so they prescribed antibiotics & told me to suck on sour candy so I could salivate more and hopefully dislodge it. Well, it's been like a week now and it's a little better, but still there. I got so desperate, I punctured it with a safety pin (that I sterilized beforehand), but it just bled. The candy was making my stomach upset, so I'd bought some lemons and I've been sucking on those. I don't know what it was, but one of those things caused the swelling to reduce drastically. It's annoying cause I feel it there under my tongue ALL the time & I'm always trying to push saliva out more to get that thing out. This is probably the most random medical issue I've ever had. If it doesn't go away, I'll have to go to an ENT which is super expensive. I do not want that.

How Dad is Doing...

Sean accepted an offer to work at Inspired Green. In this economy, to have a job offered to you is rare. He goes door-to-door offering to install a free kit to Consumers Energy customers to weatherize their homes and make them a little more energy efficient. From there, they can have someone come out and run tests to see how weatherized/efficient their house is and if they make any improvements, Consumers will match what they spend up to a certain amount. That's it in a nutshell...as I understand it. The company is expanding pretty quickly & a lot of people from Riv work there, too. It could be a really good thing for our family if he's offered benefits. So I'm hoping that it works out.

It helps, too, knowing when he'll be home...and that he won't work weekends. Though with painting, sometimes he'd have a few days during the week off and that was nice, too, haha. But I'm so proud of him for doing this. He could have easily said "no" and continued to do something he's good at and comfortable with, but he's trying something new for the sake of our family. 

Stay tuned for Roan's stats after the 14th!

What I Wish I Had Known

What I Wish I Had Known or Have Learned 
through becoming a parent

1. I am now a sappy, emotional mess. Aside from all that goes on hormonally after having a baby. I get choked up at nearly everything now. Weddings? Forget it. Any movie with kids or a mother-son relationship? Without a doubt, I will cry.

2. Your body doesn't bounce back immediately. I know, some might say "duh" in response to that one, but seriously. I had pretty bad problems with my left hip & lower back, especially towards the end of pregnancy. I remember thinking/saying "I can't wait till he's out so I can start feeling comfortable again." Ha. My hip is finally back to normal, mostly, and my back is better. But I've actually had new pains develop...mainly my tailbone. I think that's because of how I sat holding Roan. It hurts to sit for any length of time, and if I sit for a real long time, it hurts to stand up.

3. Feeding is not always the answer to crying. At first, I (and I think Sean, too) thought that any time he was crying, he was hungry. But there are other things that babies cry over: wet/poopy diapers, gas, too cold or too hot.

4. It's really hard to go anywhere with a baby. Even if he's not fussy...if he's perfectly content...I feel rushed to get in-and-out of the store as fast as possible so we can get home before he gets fussy. Timing things around his feedings helps, but Roan haaaates it when he's in his car seat & has a wet diaper.

5. What it does to your marriage. Ultimately, this is all making Sean & I stronger. Right after Roan was born, we were sort of in this honeymoon phase. Especially because of how long & difficult Roan's arrival was, we felt this flood of emotions and a super intense bond. I remember thinking "I know this isn't gonna last, but I wish it would." I was right, it didn't last. We've had some of the most difficult (if not the most difficult) times in our marriage in the last almost-4 months. But even those difficult moments are only making our marriage that much stronger...because we work through it. 

6. How un-supported and/or judged I would feel at times. This is a big one. I mean, I'd heard that people get into really heated arguments about parent issues, but I thought that was mostly stuff like discipline. However, I've found that on a few occasions I have felt looked down on for a few things....

• being induced before 42 weeks. "I could have done it. I could have waited longer." That's great. Thanks for making me feel like I'm weak and inferior to your super-strength. Also, my OB feels that after 41 weeks, the risk of muconium in the fluid increases. I know she would have let me go longer, but I was ok with being induced when I was a week past my due date. And now knowing what was going on with my body, it's a GOOD thing I was induced when I was. I either would have had to anyway, or I would have gone into labor but ended up with an emergency c-section which was even more dangerous for me than most women.
• having a c-section. This especially in light of the fact that I was induced. Though usually when I say why I had it, they stop judging and sympathy takes over. I still feel the need to explain myself, though.
• having to put Roan in day care when I return to work. A lot of people feel very strongly about this one. I don't want to put Roan in day care. At all. But bottom line: we have no choice. I have to go back to work. My parents are 2 hours away and can't afford to retire & take care of him, and Sean's parent's can't afford to do that either. It really just pours salt on the wound to get flack for this one. 
• not breastfeeding Roan anymore. I tried. I REALLY did. I had lactation consultants coming to our house twice a week for at least a month, if not longer. Roan has a recessed chin and a really hard suck. I was in pain...even with a nipple shield on. I extended my leave to be with Roan & I was not going to spend the entire time frustrated and angry. Crying through feedings, gripping whatever was nearby because it hurt so bad, and resenting him...not gonna do it. Especially after all we went through. I pumped for as long as I could, but supply diminished despite my best efforts. Yes, I did try that, so don't ask.

It's enough to make me want to shut down completely and not talk about those things with anyone at all. Ultimately, I just wish that we, especially women, could stop being so cold to each other. Being a parent is hard. We don't need to make it worse by casting judgment on each other. Plus, if you call yourself a Christian, it's not Christ-like in the least. They aren't "big ticket" issues like salvation or blasphemy, so there is no need to get all up-in-arms about it. It will only cause division, which is no bueno.

7. "Sleep when baby sleeps" is easier said than done. Sean and I got used to Roan being up all the time & waking up every 3 hours that our internal clocks were all out of whack. We're back to normal now, though we still don't go to bed till 11:30pm or later even though Roan is always asleep by 8pm. It's nice having "us" time.

8. Never leave the house without milk or formula, whichever the case may be. You never know how long you're gonna be at the doctor or the store. Any number of things could keep you there longer and then next thing you know, they're hungry and you have no food. This happened to us at Roan's first appointment and our doctor was not comfortable with me breastfeeding him in the room, at least that's how she came across (I did anyway, though covered up...and we switched doctors). Obviously, if you're breastfeeding, it's really not an issue.

9. Phantom cries. When Roan is upstairs in bed, we hear phantom cries over the monitor (when we think we hear him moaning or crying) all the time.

10. This is the most amazing, beautiful experience of our whole life. Despite all the difficulties, all the tears, all the frustration, being a parent is incredibly rewarding and worth every bit of it. All it takes is for my son to smile at me and my heart melts.