Mindset Re-Do

I've come to the realization/conclusion/revelation...whatever...that Roan will come when he's supposed to come. I know I've said that before, but in the back of my mind I was still wanting to control things & make him come now.

I tried a lot of tricks yesterday to get things going...all to no avail. Disappointing? Yes. But it forced me to realize that no matter how many "labor-starting" cookies or cupcakes I eat, no matter how many long walks I take, if it's not time for Roan to come yet then those things won't change that. So why stress about it?

Yeah, the whole part about Sean's work definitely adds anxiety. But regardless, it will all be fine no matter when Roan comes. We'll figure it out.

The bottom line is I realized that I don't want to spend my last days of pregnancy stressed out and hating it. I want to enjoy it. I want to relax as much as possible & just cherish every arm swoop & rib-bruising kick my son dishes out.

I had to reach a similar realization when we were trying to get pregnant. I so wanted to control things and just get pregnant. I stressed myself out about it all the time. I was depressed & jealous of every pregnant woman I knew or saw. It took me months to get to a point where I realized that that was no way to live. And it wasn't fair to Sean. The next month we conceived.

So, I hope that I'm learning my lesson...finally. I hope that I'm getting better at giving up my false sense of control & learning to trust God and His timing.

39 weeks...c'mon, baby!

Well, we're at 39 weeks now. One week away from DDay. Here's the bump:

Hopefully the last bump shot I'll do!

That tank top is just about the only thing that completely covers my belly anymore...that I can wear in this heat.

I've had a few false alarms. Well, not really any that sent us rushing to the hospital. Just things that kinda made me think Maybe this is the start of labor? But, obviously, they weren't.

It's hard not to get bummed that he hasn't arrived yet. It seems crazy to feel that way when I'm not even 40 weeks yet (although, really, 37 is term...and I'm close enough to 40). I think it's because so many people have predicted that I won't make it to July. I know it's still not July yet. But with each day that passes, the more convinced I am that he's not coming early. I promised myself I wouldn't get my hopes up because of people's predictions...but the damage has been done, I think.

It's hard, too, when there's the added pressure due to Sean's work. They've got some busy weeks coming up,  so it would be nice if Roan came sooner rather than closer to his due date so Sean won't miss out on too much work (money).

I have to remind myself of how close we are. And instead of looking at each day as "another day gone by without going in to labor", I need to look at each day as "one day closer". I also have to remind myself that, as Grandma Berta says, "He'll come by appointment." There's a day and a time that he's supposed to come...it's all in God's plan.

I've crocheted so much stuff. Though I think I'm sick of it now. I might think of some other things to make, but right now I need a break. I did make these cute booties for Roan to come home in:

My nesting boost of energy seems to have dwindled. I slept a lot yesterday and I feel equally tired today. There's really not much left to be done other than keeping up with the dirty dishes. I'm really hoping the sleepiness is my body's way of prepping for labor!

Still my favorite thing is when Sean feels Roan move :) He felt another big movement the other day while we were stocking up on food & getting gas at Sams. It's great when he gets to experience a little bit of what I do every day.

Roan...sweet baby of ours...please come out now. Seriously. We're not kidding.

Nesting & Crochet Projects

I love summer. I love that I have all this time to nest! The big important stuff I wanted done are done. I still gotta get Sean to take the blinds down in the kitchen so I can hose them off outside. They're really dirty. I don't think the previous owners eeeever cleaned them. So, rather than slave over each individual blind, I figure just hosing them down will work.

So, other than cleaning & organizing, here are the crochet projects I've been working on the last few days...

A hat for Roan. Although I wonder if it will be too small by fall/winter? The pattern was really complicated and confusing. It's supposed to be a cable stitch. I gave up on that pretty early on and just kept going, doing whatever. So it's a random stitch hat :)

This is/was the owl hat. I took the eyes, beak, and ears off. Just looked silly to me.

This is my favorite hat for Roan! I hope it's not too big... I used a bigger hook & thicker yarn than the pattern called for. But I tried taking some stitches/rows out to make up for it. We'll see!

Bottle cozy! I plan on making several more of these. So easy to do! 

Headband for myself :)

I found these gift tags at World Market and I thought they'd make good labels for the boxes in his closet :) If only there was a raccoon....

This last picture is of the front door. We have this big empty spot to the left of the door. I've been wanting to plant stuff there for a while...some low maintenance annuals of some kind. But, I've just never gotten around to it.
I was given these flowers from my shower at work & thought it would be pretty easy/simple to just buy a pot & put them in it. It looks kinda dinky...being the only plants we have out front other than 2 bushes...but...it's something.

I'm getting more and more anxious for this baby to get here each day! I think Sean is, too. I bought lots of fresh pineapple today. I'm taking Evening Primrose Oil and drinking Raspberry Leaf tea, too. I don't know if it's actually helping, but it can't hurt! Roan, you're being evicted. We want to meet you!!

38 Weeks & Taking it One Day at a Time.

So, no belly shot this week. I probably don't look much different than the last shot.

I'm trying not to "sit & wait" too much. I've been nesting, of course, but also trying to spread things out so  I don't blast through the list & end up with nothing to keep me occupied. I've also started to crochet some things for Roan. The first thing being an owl hat. However, I think it looks silly. The pattern has instructions for various sizes...infant to adult. But the eyes, ears, and beak are all one size. So I think they're just too big for the hat, so I'm gonna take them off. The other hat I'm working on isn't turning out so well, haha. It's a bit more of an advanced pattern than I'm used to, though. I made a bottle cozie today & plan on making more. I'll upload pics when I'm done :)

Hard to believe I'm just 2ish weeks away from D-Day!

Size of baby: The internet says about 6 - 7 lbs and 19-20 inches.

Movement: Still pretty active. But man, my ribs need a vacation from his kicks. It hurts really bad.

Sleep: Still on the couch. I tried sleeping in the bed last night & it didn't last. It just hurt. Not to mention I pulled a muscle getting out of bed. Really, I'm not kidding!

Symptoms: Same. Swollen feet, achy ribs, heartburn....

Baby's position: Head down. My OB said that the whole posterior/sunny-side-up thing changes. His body can still twist and turn a bit (as if on a pole). Still, I think the majority of the time he's posterior. The most important thing is whether or not he's breech, which he's not.
  

Best Moment this week: My friend Sandy had a baby girl a few weeks ago and I took her some food. While holding her little girl, it struck me that Roan is probably only a little bit smaller than her right now! It was just surreal holding her and realizing that. And it really put into perspective why my ribs feel like their being dislocated numerous times a day.

Oh, my son...when are we gonna get to meet you? Will you come early like everyone is predicting or are you gonna prove them wrong, just like you did by being a boy instead of a girl? 

37 weeks...Fuuull Term!!

Goin' with a shoulders-down shot...lookin' kinda scruffy!

I can't believe I'm at 37 weeks...18 days away from D-Day! Everyone thinks Roan is gonna come early. Obviously I hope they are right, but I'm trying to plan & mentally prepare to go past my due date.

His movements are getting really painful! Actually, if I'm sitting down & he starts moving, 99% of the time, it just plain hurts. But I still love feeling him move. It's reassuring.

Nesting has kicked in biiiig time! I got about 5 hours of sleep last night, but I felt great at work. It did hit me at about 1:30...about the time that we got back to the school after a picnic and Sweet Sensations ice cream. So I took a nap when I got home. I definitely have that burst-of-energy thing going on.

This last weekend was a big weekend! My shower at work was Friday morning, Omi & pedicures with Dev & Kristie Friday night, cousin's open house in Cement City on Saturday, and then my family shower was yesterday (Sunday)...plus lots of hanging out with the Detmers side (which I love). Here are some pictures from all the fun.

Jessie (my sis-in-law) spotted a turtle on the sidewalk by our townhouse! That's my brother holding the turtle. 

Coconut cupcakes my mom made for the shower.

Diaper cake! (and eclairs to the left...and another yuuuumy desert to the right. My mom made all the food!)

Favors from the shower :)

Our faces in this one just crack me up!

Violet & grandma Gigi (my aunt) at the shower.

Blanket that grandma Stornant made for Roan.

My mom & grandma are BEAUTIFUL ladies!

Sean's 100 year-old great grandma & I. She's a petite lady to begin with, but sitting next to my HUGE belly makes her look even smaller!

My mom did such an amazing job with the shower! And thanks to everyone who helped her :) Also, to everyone that came to my work shower & my family shower. I feel very blessed!

My aunt said she told my mom (before the shower) that she was doing everything as if the president was coming. My mom's response: "He is," with a smile :) 

36 week update

I had my 36 week appointment today. Nothing major to report. My OB said she doesn't check to see if I'm dilated unless I go over my due date. She said they also don't check often during labor (only if I report pressure, etc). I'm happy about that (for now) for several reasons. 

So, I'm glad my OB doesn't check to see if I'm dilated that much because 1) If I knew she was going to check me every week, I'd be obsessive/worried about it. 2) My OB said that each time you're checked, there's a risk of introducing bacteria. So if my OB doesn't want to take that risk, then I don't. 3) It just makes me feel better about my OB/the hospital not inducing me. What I mean is that I want Roan to come when HE'S ready and I feel like if they were going to check me a lot during labor, then our odds of hearing "You're not progressing like we'd like you to, so we're going to induce you," would increase. Granted, they still could say that, but still. Some women don't dilate quickly at first, but given time they'll jump from 5cm to 10cm in 30 minutes. My labor might be like that, it might not.

Anyway. From here-on-out, I'll have an appointment once a week! Exciting :) 

So...comparison shot. The one on the right was taken yesterday. I feel like Roan dropped again. I can definitely tell in the pictures. Another indication is how I walk...waddle, waddle, waddle.

Size of baby: Oh I don't know exactly. He's obviously getting big, though! Somewhere around 6lbs and between 18-19 inches long.

Movement: No changes there. Still an active little guy.

Sleep: Same as before. Still on the couch...still having a hard time actually falling asleep. But I'm always exhausted by the time I leave work, so I usually nap when I get home.

Symptoms: Same as last week...add my feet swelling to the list. Prayer would be appreciated. And the heartburn. Oh my GOSH the heartburn is so bad sometimes!

Baby's position: Head down. I forgot to ask my OB if she can tell if he's posterior. I'll ask next week...if I remember.
  

Best Moment this week: My good friend, Mandy, dropped off dinner a few minutes ago! She just had a (precious) baby boy 6ish weeks ago and she's in the process of trying to sell her house, yet she was thoughtful enough to bring us some chicken stuffing casserole. It is in the oven as we speak. Thank you, Mandy! You are a blessing :)