Almost 4 Months

How Roan is Doing...

Yay tummy time!

He is getting so big! He'll be 4 months on the 10th...wow. His appointment on the 14th so we'll see how much  he weighs. He's long & lean(ish haha). He's wearing 3-6mo size now and it's loose around his tummy, but the snaps on his onesies always pop open...and the legs on his romper outfit things are too short, but everywhere else, it fits.

He was a lion for Halloween. Grandma Bebe (my mom) got him his costume...originally we thought it was a monster, but the more I look at it, the more I think it's a lion. Just not your typical lion costume colors. But he was stinkin' adorable! I took him to Sycamore (where I work) for the Halloween parade. It was chilly, but rest assured I am a good momma and made sure he was warm ;) He was actually sweaty when I took him out of the car seat!

My cousin had her baby! Leo Lewis was born on 10/30/11...she said she didn't want a Halloween baby & she got her wish :) Interestingly enough, my husband read (<--link) that the birth rate drops by like 11% on Hallween. Anyway, Roan got to meet his new "frousin" (a term my husband coined).

Leo is so tiny...and adorable! 

How Mom is Doing...

I am loving being home. I do miss my job, but really nothing beats being home with my boy. There are times when I desperately want Sean home to help, too, and I certainly can't get as much done as I'd like, but still. Just when I think I couldn't love him any more than I do, I look at him and he smiles and I feel like my heart is gonna burst. I actually like cooking, cleaning (ok, maybe not cleaning), and taking care of Roan all day. I'm nervous about how I'm gonna do it all when I go back to work.

I've been battling a clogged salivary duct (<--link). That link doesn't look like mine...mine isn't that bad. No drainage. Basically, that thing under your tongue that squirts out saliva...that is clogged by a calcified stone. Originally I thought it was a canker sore, but after a week Sean told me to go in to Urgent Care. They told me what it was and that I need to be seen by an ear, nose, and throat doc. I explained that I'm not insured, so they prescribed antibiotics & told me to suck on sour candy so I could salivate more and hopefully dislodge it. Well, it's been like a week now and it's a little better, but still there. I got so desperate, I punctured it with a safety pin (that I sterilized beforehand), but it just bled. The candy was making my stomach upset, so I'd bought some lemons and I've been sucking on those. I don't know what it was, but one of those things caused the swelling to reduce drastically. It's annoying cause I feel it there under my tongue ALL the time & I'm always trying to push saliva out more to get that thing out. This is probably the most random medical issue I've ever had. If it doesn't go away, I'll have to go to an ENT which is super expensive. I do not want that.

How Dad is Doing...

Sean accepted an offer to work at Inspired Green. In this economy, to have a job offered to you is rare. He goes door-to-door offering to install a free kit to Consumers Energy customers to weatherize their homes and make them a little more energy efficient. From there, they can have someone come out and run tests to see how weatherized/efficient their house is and if they make any improvements, Consumers will match what they spend up to a certain amount. That's it in a nutshell...as I understand it. The company is expanding pretty quickly & a lot of people from Riv work there, too. It could be a really good thing for our family if he's offered benefits. So I'm hoping that it works out.

It helps, too, knowing when he'll be home...and that he won't work weekends. Though with painting, sometimes he'd have a few days during the week off and that was nice, too, haha. But I'm so proud of him for doing this. He could have easily said "no" and continued to do something he's good at and comfortable with, but he's trying something new for the sake of our family. 

Stay tuned for Roan's stats after the 14th!

What I Wish I Had Known

What I Wish I Had Known or Have Learned 
through becoming a parent

1. I am now a sappy, emotional mess. Aside from all that goes on hormonally after having a baby. I get choked up at nearly everything now. Weddings? Forget it. Any movie with kids or a mother-son relationship? Without a doubt, I will cry.

2. Your body doesn't bounce back immediately. I know, some might say "duh" in response to that one, but seriously. I had pretty bad problems with my left hip & lower back, especially towards the end of pregnancy. I remember thinking/saying "I can't wait till he's out so I can start feeling comfortable again." Ha. My hip is finally back to normal, mostly, and my back is better. But I've actually had new pains develop...mainly my tailbone. I think that's because of how I sat holding Roan. It hurts to sit for any length of time, and if I sit for a real long time, it hurts to stand up.

3. Feeding is not always the answer to crying. At first, I (and I think Sean, too) thought that any time he was crying, he was hungry. But there are other things that babies cry over: wet/poopy diapers, gas, too cold or too hot.

4. It's really hard to go anywhere with a baby. Even if he's not fussy...if he's perfectly content...I feel rushed to get in-and-out of the store as fast as possible so we can get home before he gets fussy. Timing things around his feedings helps, but Roan haaaates it when he's in his car seat & has a wet diaper.

5. What it does to your marriage. Ultimately, this is all making Sean & I stronger. Right after Roan was born, we were sort of in this honeymoon phase. Especially because of how long & difficult Roan's arrival was, we felt this flood of emotions and a super intense bond. I remember thinking "I know this isn't gonna last, but I wish it would." I was right, it didn't last. We've had some of the most difficult (if not the most difficult) times in our marriage in the last almost-4 months. But even those difficult moments are only making our marriage that much stronger...because we work through it. 

6. How un-supported and/or judged I would feel at times. This is a big one. I mean, I'd heard that people get into really heated arguments about parent issues, but I thought that was mostly stuff like discipline. However, I've found that on a few occasions I have felt looked down on for a few things....

• being induced before 42 weeks. "I could have done it. I could have waited longer." That's great. Thanks for making me feel like I'm weak and inferior to your super-strength. Also, my OB feels that after 41 weeks, the risk of muconium in the fluid increases. I know she would have let me go longer, but I was ok with being induced when I was a week past my due date. And now knowing what was going on with my body, it's a GOOD thing I was induced when I was. I either would have had to anyway, or I would have gone into labor but ended up with an emergency c-section which was even more dangerous for me than most women.
• having a c-section. This especially in light of the fact that I was induced. Though usually when I say why I had it, they stop judging and sympathy takes over. I still feel the need to explain myself, though.
• having to put Roan in day care when I return to work. A lot of people feel very strongly about this one. I don't want to put Roan in day care. At all. But bottom line: we have no choice. I have to go back to work. My parents are 2 hours away and can't afford to retire & take care of him, and Sean's parent's can't afford to do that either. It really just pours salt on the wound to get flack for this one. 
• not breastfeeding Roan anymore. I tried. I REALLY did. I had lactation consultants coming to our house twice a week for at least a month, if not longer. Roan has a recessed chin and a really hard suck. I was in pain...even with a nipple shield on. I extended my leave to be with Roan & I was not going to spend the entire time frustrated and angry. Crying through feedings, gripping whatever was nearby because it hurt so bad, and resenting him...not gonna do it. Especially after all we went through. I pumped for as long as I could, but supply diminished despite my best efforts. Yes, I did try that, so don't ask.

It's enough to make me want to shut down completely and not talk about those things with anyone at all. Ultimately, I just wish that we, especially women, could stop being so cold to each other. Being a parent is hard. We don't need to make it worse by casting judgment on each other. Plus, if you call yourself a Christian, it's not Christ-like in the least. They aren't "big ticket" issues like salvation or blasphemy, so there is no need to get all up-in-arms about it. It will only cause division, which is no bueno.

7. "Sleep when baby sleeps" is easier said than done. Sean and I got used to Roan being up all the time & waking up every 3 hours that our internal clocks were all out of whack. We're back to normal now, though we still don't go to bed till 11:30pm or later even though Roan is always asleep by 8pm. It's nice having "us" time.

8. Never leave the house without milk or formula, whichever the case may be. You never know how long you're gonna be at the doctor or the store. Any number of things could keep you there longer and then next thing you know, they're hungry and you have no food. This happened to us at Roan's first appointment and our doctor was not comfortable with me breastfeeding him in the room, at least that's how she came across (I did anyway, though covered up...and we switched doctors). Obviously, if you're breastfeeding, it's really not an issue.

9. Phantom cries. When Roan is upstairs in bed, we hear phantom cries over the monitor (when we think we hear him moaning or crying) all the time.

10. This is the most amazing, beautiful experience of our whole life. Despite all the difficulties, all the tears, all the frustration, being a parent is incredibly rewarding and worth every bit of it. All it takes is for my son to smile at me and my heart melts. 

Ohio: Roan's First Road Trip

Sean's good friend Porter (though her last name isn't Porter now, so I guess we have to call her Jessica haha) got married in Columbus on the 29th, so we took Roan down there with us. Sean did an internship down there before he & I even met, which is how he knows Jessica. We stayed with Pam (whom Sean met during his internship) and her husband, John. 

Roan does great traveling! We hit the road at about 1:30/1:45pm, right after Roan ate, and he fell asleep pretty much as soon as we hit the highway. He slept till 4ish when we stopped to get food. Granted, our stop took a little over an hour because he peed when Sean was changing him, plus he had to eat, then be changed again before leaving. 

At some McDonalds somewhere in Ohio.

Once we got back on the road, he again fell asleep and slept until we arrived in Columbus!

We went straight to Jessica's rehearsal/out-of-towners dinner. She was very excited to meet Roan...I'm pretty sure he had no clue what was going on, but we were excited for him to meet her, too. The thing with Jessica is she has this contagious joy. She is one of those people that brightens up any room she walks into. I don't know her very well...this was only my 4th time seeing her face-to-face, but she instantly makes you feel like you've been friends for years. 

I couldn't decide which one was better, so I uploaded both.

Saturday was the wedding day, but it wasn't until 4:30pm, so we got to hang out with Pam and John. We ate at Jason's Deli. Roan was perfect in the restaurant. He got a bottle as soon as we got there, which helped.

Pam printed off directions to the wedding for us, but it took us to some subdivision. The directions didn't have the address on it, so we had to call her, ask her to look it up, then put the address in our GPS. Praise God for GPS! So, we got there only a few minutes before the wedding started. We were way in the back, but it was a great ceremony. So joyful, so relaxed, and so centered on God.

I have concluded/realized that something about becoming a mom means I will forever cry at anything and everything. Their vows totally got me choked up. I laughed, I cried. Hopefully someone will post a video on Facebook. I could see Jess' face and her expressions were priceless.

The reception was fun, too, and despite being outside in a tent, I was pretty warm. Though, that might have had to do with me spilling my ENTIRE cup of coffee down the front of my dress as I was sitting down. Thankfully, it was a long dress, plus I had boots on...and legwarmers underneath the boots. It wasn't so warm as it dried off, though. You couldn't see the spill because of the color & pattern of the dress. Just smells like coffee now (till I wash it). If you know anything about me, you know this is no surprise. I'm kind of a klutz.

Here's Jessica & Rob's entrance to the reception (her husband is from NY):

They danced to "Grow Old With You" from the wedding singer:

And some pics of Sean and I at the reception...my dress was dry by this point :)

"If you embarrass me ONE more time..."

Yaaaay Mrs. Buscemi! (Of course I'M making a silly face.)

We didn't stay out too late...being that we only knew 4 people at the wedding, including Jessica. We watched Captain America with John & Pam. I fell asleep, though.

Sunday was pretty relaxed. We hung out while Pam and John went to church...got our stuff packed and all that. They went out & got Burger King, we ate, then left at about 2/2:30ish.

Some photos from Sunday:

Snuggles with momma :)

Poor guy just woke up and I'm taking pictures...but the letters from his bib left marks on his face :)

And he showed daddy how he can roll over!

Roan with Pam and John:

Roan was the same great traveler baby on the way home! He was a little fussy the first few minutes...but I think that's cause he doesn't like going in his car seat when he's awake. He doesn't like being strapped down, haha. Though he usually gives up and falls asleep in his car seat after 5-10 minutes.

He did really well sleeping, too. We opened up the Pack 'N Play for the first time there & that is what he slept in.

One thing I will say about the part of Columbus we were at (Westerville)...it's very nice. I was completely amazed by so many of the houses there! A big house & lots of money is so not my life goal, but some of the houses were very interesting, kinda vintage...those I really liked :) I felt like a broken record, constantly saying "Holy COW!" or "Geesh!"

Hopefully it won't be too long before we can go back to Columbus! And knowing that Roan is such a great traveler will make that much easier. Though, he might not be so good when he's a toddler, haha. For now, we're keeping our fingers crossed. 

Big Weekend!

How Roan is Doing...

Ready for Lucy Cambern's 1st birthday party!

He went to his first birthday party...meaning the first birthday party he's been invited to. Lucy Cambern turned 1. The decorations were just awesome. It seriously looked like something you'd see in a magazine. I forgot to put Roan in his Halloween costume, though. I'm taking him to the parade at Sycamore, so I'll be sure to get pictures then.

He still sleeps wonderfully at night & is cooing and squealing all the time. He'll be up in his crib, talking away, and we'll be downstairs listening on the monitor (not that we can't hear without it haha) and we'll just laugh and marvel at the adorable sounds coming from him.

We're realizing that we are blessed with an easy baby. He will seriously be content on his play mat if all his needs are met. He'll just lay there, batting at the toys. He sleeps well, he's not colic-y. I'm sure we'll have our moments/phases with him (we are dreading teething). And I'm sure this means baby #2 is going to be a big challenge; hopefully this metaphorical lightening will strike twice.

How Mom is Doing...

I feel like I'm getting sick. It started with a sore throat. Plus, my nose/sinuses felt weird. It felt like I had a bloody nose, but nothing was coming out.  I've got a cup of Gypsy Cold Care tea brewing. We'll see if it helps. 

I've started to think about making a c-section support website. Mainly for moms who didn't plan on or want a c-section, but for whatever reason, ended up getting one. I have found little support out there for c-section moms...other than birth boards, which provides great "I've been there" or "Me too" kind of support. It's seriously a hard thing to go through for a lot of women. My struggle now is realizing I will likely never experience a vaginal delivery. A VBAC would be super dangerous for me, given my medical history, so I personally do not feel comfortable risking uterine rupture. My OB told me a VBAC would be possible, but the anesthesiologists were already super concerned with my first c-section, let alone adding the risks of a VBAC. 

If anyone knows of resources/support for c-section moms, leave me a comment. I want to stockpile a list for the blog/site. 

How Dad is Doing...

Note Roan's sausage legs!

Sean had the last 4ish (maybe more? ) days off work because of all that we had going on. Always nice to be together :). 

We're pretty sure we've become that couple that talks about their kid aaaall the time. Talking to friends anymore just winds up being us talking about Roan. So, we're sorry if we've been boring anyone or have made anyone feel left out. He just dominates sooo much of our life, it's only natural. Plus, I'm not working right now, so there goes that. We really try to talk about other things, too! I know I put a lot of pictures and videos on Facebook, but we have family that lives far away, so it's mostly for them. If that annoys anyone, too, Facebook has this great feature where you can "hide" people (wink, wink). I won't know about it & I won't be offended. I have no shame in uploading tons of pictures of my son. Just felt like putting that out there :)

What A Wonderful Weekend

This weekend was busy & jam-packed, but oh-so-wonderful! To start, our friends Melissa & Chris got hitched Friday...so Sean and I had a nice night out while his sister, brother-in-law, and our nephew watched Roan until my parents got into town.

Saturday we had nothing planned, so my mom & dad told us to go to a movie...we gladly did! We saw 50/50 (which we both really enjoyed). Not to mention, my mom cooked & took me shopping while they were here, on top of doing the night shifts with Roan! So blessed!

Sunday was D-Day...Roan was dedicated. Really, it was basically us publicly saying we're going to do our best to raise Roan in a way that pleases God. My grandma Dorothy, aunt Dawn, and sis-in-law Jessie came up from Indiana...as did grandma Berta & Tom. I hadn't seen grandma D and aunt Dawn in a long time, so it was really, really good to see them. Lots of other family in town came, too. We went to the Cracker Barrel afterwards and I didn't want to leave! I wanted to go to someone's house & spend more time together. But Roan was really sleepy...he slept for a little bit in the nursery during church & a few minutes at the restaurant, but definitely not his usual.

Speaking of Roan & sleep...he is doing awesome! He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:15ish and doesn't wake up till somewhere around 5 or 6am, then back to sleep for another 2ish hours. So I'm glad my mom didn't have to get up every 3 hours like before. This also means that Sean & I are consistently sleeping in the same bed again!

Here are some pics from this weekend...

Grandpa Dean is silly.

Asleep at the Cracker Barrel :)

Roan loves his grandpa!

Special time with great-grandma Berta

Great-grandma Dorothy snuggles!

It might not look like it here, but he really got snuggly with his great aunt Dawn for a little bit there.

3 Stinkin' Months Old!

Roan is 3 months old!! Hard to believe!

How Roan is Doing...

I was trying to burp him...he was too tired.

Still working on getting him to sleep in his crib. He does pretty good at night, which is good. He goes to bed between 7:30-8pm and does a 6-8 hr stretch at first, then he gets up every 3ish hours (give or take) after that to eat. The good thing is he goes right back to sleep after those feedings. Actually most of the time his eyes are closed while he's eating. We don't turn on any lights & do very little talking to him while he's eating. Sometimes I'll kiss his forehead or tell him I love him, but very quietly. Sleeping in his crib during the day is still a challenge. I bought room-darkening blinds so hopefully that will help. The longest stretch he'll do is 30 minutes...though he did do 2 hours one day. That was a fluke, I think.

I caught his first laugh on video! I was talking to Sean about how I feel greedy...it used to be that I just wanted him to smile. Then I was ok with that for a while, but then it was "I want him to laugh!" Now it's "I want him to laugh more!" I know one day I'm really gonna miss him being this small, so I'm trying to enjoy the "now"...which is why I extended my maternity leave.

How Mom is Doing...

Yeaaaah...a bit silly :)

Not much has changed, really. Just trying to lose baby weight, haha. Sweets are my weakness & I've cheated a few times. Though, I am still proud of myself because I only had like 2 spoon-fulls of ice cream on separate occasions...as opposed to a whole bowl. 

I really need to start working out. I keep saying "when Roan's sleep schedule is more predictable"...but really, I could just take him down in the basement with me. Excuses, really, is what it is. Sean and I have taken a few walks with Roan & Rosie...but I need to be doing stuff more consistently. My cousin Chelsea is getting married next Spring and I'm in the wedding so I gotta get in shape before then! Which, I just gotta say I'm so excited to visit Marquette again! The UP is truly fantastical. God did a great job on that one. I just wish it wasn't so far away. 

Oh, and I made my first Etsy sale! I'm working on making more stuff to put up, but again, it's hard with Roan. If his naps during the day were more like 1 or 2 hours, that would help so much!

How Dad is Doing...

Work is still kinda slow. He was able to re-do our bedroom a little. We moved the bed, took down the ugly blinds & put up curtains, and got new bedding. 

We've got a lot of weddings to go to this month! Chris & Melissa are getting married this Friday. His friend, Porter (Jessica), is getting married on the 29th in Ohio! So we'll be down there for the weekend. Keeton and Brittany are getting married on the 23rd and Sean is playing guitar during the ceremony (I will be giving the wedding party cues for when they go down the aisle :)). Porter's wedding will be fun because it's been a long time since we've been to Ohio. Sean did an internship there, which is how he knows her. We'll be staying with his "second mom", Pam, when we're there. It'll be their first time meeting Roan...and our first long trip in the car with him! Fingers crossed that goes well, haha. I'm trying not to think about that part.

We both got our pertussis vaccine. It's combined with a tetanus shot, so our arms were seriously sore for 2 days after. Mine still hurts, actually, but I think it's from sleeping on my shoulder weird (due to the sore arm thing). 

If It Aint Broke...

How Roan is Doing...

We decided it was time for Roan to start sleeping in his crib. Thankfully, this has been relatively easy at night...at least the first two nights (this is night 3 and he's been asleep up there for about 1 hour so far). The first night he went almost 12 hours (he had a bottle after about 9.5 hours that night, but then went right back to bed). The second night he did a 6ish hour stretch, then up every 3 hours. We'll see how tonight goes.

Unfortunately, it's been a different story during the day. He just loves to sleep on our laps, in his Boppy with us right by him, or in his Rock 'N Play. I've wondered many times "Why are we doing this? Why are we disrupting a 'good' thing? Do we enjoy inflicting pain and chaos on ourselves?" But ultimately, Sean and I really just need our time together again. We need to be sleeping in the same bed (last night was the first night in about 6 months!!) We need time together so we can have a strong marriage, and therefore be better parents for Roan.

Our goal for week 1 is to get him to sleep in his crib for really any length of time...day and night. Then our goal will be to get a 6 hr stretch at night...though if that is happening now, then we'll say an 8 hour stretch is the goal...or whatever the time frame may be. 

It has not been easy. I love snuggling with him! I know the day is coming when he won't want to be held and I'm dreading it. 

In other news...Roan is being dedicated on Oct. 16th. I'm excited because my family from Indiana are coming up. Dedications at our church are different than child baptisms or christenings. It's really more for us as parents...to have the prayer and support of the church, etc. We believe that Roan should be baptized when he makes that choice. But we still wanna say that he's God's kid first and we're trusting God to help us raise him and all that jazz. 

How Mom is Doing...

The tattoo addiction has taken hold! I got the tattoo on my right foot touched up and added "2 Cor. 12:9"  which is "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I think eventually I want a white ink tattoo on my wrist. A friend recently got one and I saw her picture on Facebook and it only made me want one more haha. I think I want to get something in Arabic though. Something that can be covered with a watch or bracelet if I need to...although white ink is barely noticeable on pasty white skin like mine (which is kind of why I like it). 

I've decided to start making and selling crochet items on Etsy. My shop is allaboutthestitches.etsy.com. I'm slowly making and adding things...some things I made for myself or for Roan and don't want to sell the actual one pictured, but I can duplicate them. If I don't end up selling anything, oh well. I've just had people ask me to make them things, so I thought "Why not?". 

How Dad is Doing...

Work has started to slow quite a bit. He worked like 1.5 days last week. He has more work Monday and Tuesday this week, but so far nothing the rest of the week. It's good for family time, but not for the bank account. I must admit, I do love him being home...but at the end of the day, we need to eat. The timing was really good, though, for crib-training Roan.

Other than that, though, he mostly just watches football haha. Though we have been able to catch up on our shows (Dexter, Modern Family, Community, and others).